Top 10 Ways to Tell You Live in San Francisco

1. You marvel at the really cheap deal your friends got on the $600,000 house they just purchased

2. You don't blink when a 6'5" drag queen in a tiara, a pink chiffon dress and sequined stilettos asks to borrow your comb in the Ladies' room

3. You regularly scream at the @$*#$&^#cable cars to get out of your way as you drive down California St. toward downtown, the same cable cars you thought were so quaint when you first moved here

4. You would not consider eating even a burger at a place without an 8-page wine list (that is if you ate burgers, which, of course, you don't)

5. You are late for your tantric yoga class because you got stuck in the anti-war protest traffic on the way back from the seminar by the Dalai Lama

6. Your toddler has been on waiting lists for eight preschools for the last six months, because the schools feel he does not show enough leadership ability to have the right stuff

7. Your toddler finally does get into a desirable preschool, and it costs you more than you paid in college tuition at your Ivy League university

8. You would eat food from any random street vendor when vacationing in Asia, but you would die before Wonder bread or iceberg lettuce passed your lips

9. It dawns on you that you don't know one single person who is actually an employee at the Silicon Valley company where you work - you are surrounded by consultants and contractors. Come to think of it, you are a contractor.

10. You consider Howard Dean right wing